Baptism.

Baptism never seemed to be something that I ever thought about, nor considered. It wasn’t until I moved to California and began my Berean classes that baptism really caught my attention. While reading through The Life and Teachings of Christ I came across a section on John the Baptist and

Baptism itself, and the meaning behind it. I quickly went to my roommate and asked her about it, she told me about her experience and why it is a good idea to be baptized as a Christian. I suppose I never considered baptism because I had been baptized as a baby into the Catholic Church, just the idea itself had never seemed to cross my mind. After reading more about it and talking more to my roommate I decided that this is something I wanted to do, I wanted to be baptized as a Christian. I wanted to be baptized in the ocean by Gary Garcia… and so I did.

On November 28^th, 2010 I was baptized at Corona Del Mar, with four other friends. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. The sun setting on the Ocean, which eventually turned into dark, a group of close friends gathered to witness this important experience, what more could a person ask for. Although it was freezing, this is a night that will not be forgotten. Thank God for opportunities like this.

Youth Convention.

First Youth Convention experience = epic! Phil Wickham = epic! Leeland = epic! The weekend as a whole = epic! Going into this weekend I really didn’t know what to expect, this time I was not a student, I was a leader meaning I had a responsibility; I had to be in control. This scared me a bit, but at the same time I liked the thought of having a group of girls that I got to watch over, that I got to hang out and connect with. Although I didn’t know what to expect from this weekend I did know that something amazing was bound to happen, whether it be to me or to fellow students and leaders on the trip. I knew God was going to work through people and transform lives and man did he ever!

The worship for the weekend was led by Phil Wickham, and when I tell you he did an amazing job, I truly mean he did an amazing job. The speakers varied, each individual had a great message, and between them all they each made some point or remark that touched my heart in a big way. I was able to make a connection to the messages in my own life, some of the things I really needed to hear.

The first night as I sat in the audience I was able to witness hundreds of students crowd the front and give their life to Jesus, whether it be for the first time or a rededication, that night people came and gave their lives to Jesus and it was the most amazing thing I got to see, I was overcome with joy. Praise God! I can only hope and pray that after that weekend, once the spiritual high fades these students will continue to follow God, continue to walk in his path, continue to live like Jesus. I thank God for an amazing weekend, I thank God for touching the hearts of many people, I thank God for transforming lives.

Sophie Elizabeth.

            “IT’S A GIRL!!!” This was text I woke up to on November 19^th, 2010. I was overcome with joy at the thought of me being an auntie for the very first time. Sophie Elizabeth daughter of Jordan Hofstra and Paul Bazylewski was welcomed into the world. This precious little girl was my niece, this statement still gives me butterflies; it still brings a smile to my face. Though I long to hold her and kiss her and tell her I love her in person, for now all I can do is look through facebook pictures and think in less than a month I can do all that! I can’t help but think how much of a blessing little Sophie is to both Jordan and Paul. This little angel came at the perfect moment. I am aware that babies aren’t the answers to life’s problems but in this case I feel that Sophie was the answer, she was the perfect blessing. I believe in my heart that this little girl is already changing lives. I thank God every day for blessing my family with this beautiful girl. God is good, and he gave us the most amazing Christmas present ever. Thank you Jesus!

Back to Reality.

Time is running out, the faces that are so familiar to us will soon be gone. This fairytale we are living in will soon be over. It is a sad thought; but on the bright side I know in my heart that I have built some solid relationships with some unreal people. It is strange thought that in less than a month everything will be different. A very dear friend will head on home, back to the place he grew up, back to his family, back to reality. The thought of saying goodbye nearly breaks my heart. Why does he have to go? Why can’t he stay until we all have to go? It would make saying goodbye that much easier. I can’t help but think of the second part of this year and how different it is going to be. I think about the person who hides behind the door as me and Andi enter the house and scare us EVERY time… who is going to do that? I think about that person who makes fun of everybody all the time… who is going to do that? I suppose I should not think about who is going to replace this man, because I know in my heart that no one will. Andrew is one of a kind; Andrew is one of my very best friends. I will miss him everyday until I see him again. For now I shall enjoy my time with him, I should take in every laugh, I should appreciate every mock or joke, I should take in every hug, I should hold onto every single moment until the day he boards that plane back to Ireland.

My Life & Others.

Do you ever look at something and imagine a whole other world? Do you ever look at someone and wonder what if you had looked that way or what if you had been that race or that height, would your life be different? How often do you step back and look at your own life, are you satisfied? Are you living with regret? Do you wish to change things about yourself? Do you have hopes and dreams? Are you going to go after those hopes and dreams, or leave them dormant? I feel that every individual has a purpose in this life; every individual has so much potential to make a difference. I can only hope that people will make the right choice… to go after what they want in this life.

Do you ever think that if you had been another person in this world, would your dreams be the same as they are now? I sometimes wonder if there had been one small adjustment in my life, would I be where I am now. Would I know my God like I do? Would I have these amazing people in my life? Would I be in California? Or would I have gone to college right away? Would I have been a wild child? The questions are endless; the answers are unknown, because that is not how life panned out for me. My God knew, He always knew that my life would go this way. He knew that I would be born in Saskatoon and when I was eighteen years old I would embark on an unreal adventure to California where I would live for a year. He knew that I would stumble throughout my life and He knew that He would pick me right back up and get me back on track.

My God is so powerful and it amazes me, it amazes me that he is all knowing. I will forever continue to stumble because I like other people am human, but I will forever trust in God and I will forever feel safe because He holds me in the palm of His hand. I am surrounded by His love. I suppose I should stop wondering what if. I suppose I should live in my life; I should live the life God has set out for me. I guess sometimes I just I can’t control my wandering brain, I think it is neat to live vicariously through other people. This doesn’t mean I am not happy with my own life, because I am, I got it good, and I praise God for that. God is good.

It all Comes Down to Trust.

How much pain is one person suppose to endure in a lifetime? Don’t you think the loss of one family member is enough? How is a twenty and fourteen year old supposed to cope with the loss of both their mother and sister? It is in these moments where it seems life isn’t fair. It is during the times of tragedy and loss where you will stumble across the question “why?” I am even finding myself asking that question, why this family, why these boys, what could possibly come from this situation. I know and understand that it all comes down to trust, trust in God. In doing this, the situation you are faced with will get easier, and you will be able to see a light through this darkness. I know that it sometimes is easier said than done, especially when you are in those weak moments. It is easier to tell someone they need to trust, that this will all work out, that there is a reason, a purpose for all of this, than it is for you, yourself to do that. If the news of loss was thrown your way, it would maybe be a struggle to give it all up to God, though we know it is what needs to be done, it sometimes doesn’t make sense and in the midst of your darkness there is no light.

I guess all we can do as bystanders is continue to comfort those who mourn, those who hurt. We can continue to pour God’s love onto them, continue to remind them to trust, in the end though it is up to them whether they choose to trust or not to trust. At this point I am trusting, I am trusting that God has some unreal plan for these boys, at this point I also just need to pray, I pray that God would shower these boys with love and just give them a peace and understanding about this whole situation. I just ask God to strengthen them, give them hope for better days to come.

Rest in peace Patricia and Kate Monture, forever loved.

What have I become?

What have I become? This is a question that I come across often. Honestly I don’t know if I really know the answer. I know that I have become someone who I don’t want to be. It’s like I search for drama and opportunities to gossip or put people down, it’s like I search for sin. Boy’s are always on my mind and I claim I don’t want to do that anymore, but who am I kidding? Satan has gotten such a hold of me and he’s not giving up, I need to break the chains, I need to get away from temptation. I need Jesus, I have Jesus but I need to start living like Jesus, living for Jesus. I need to get far away from my evil ways. It seems I get worse and worse every day although I am fully aware of the choices I am making, that is what makes this so much more confusing. I know I am doing wrong yet I still do it, I don’t choose differently. I think I have the strength to not do it, but it’s almost like I like doing it. I get some sort of pleasure putting people down, apparently it gives me some superiority... for the time being, afterwards I feel like crap, I curse myself for the stupid decisions I am making and I tell myself it won’t happen again, until it does... It’s like a never ending cycle. I don’t want there to be a cycle, I want it to stop, and I want to be a good person with a good heart. I don’t want to lust, I don’t want to gossip, I don’t want to be jealous or want what I can’t have. It is tearing me down and I don’t know how much more I can handle. I am just a kid who is searching for answers but I don’t think I’m searching hard enough. I look at some people I’m surrounded with and they love Jesus so much, they don’t seem like they stumble and that kills me, why can’t that be me, why can’t I live like that. I pity myself with the copout “why me?”...which is stupid because I have it so easy, I am just not trying hard enough. I love Jesus and we have such a solid relationship at camp in the summer and I am on this spiritual high and then I go back home and slowly reality kicks and it’s like goodbye Jesus, until next summer. I don’t want that! Yet I say I don’t want that but I don’t do anything to change that, I act like I am a good Christian but I am so far from being a good Christian, I feel like a fake. It is killing me, I love Jesus and I know that is not fake, Jesus loves me and I know that is not fake. I am screaming for help, I can’t keep living like this, this isn’t me. Is California where I am supposed to be? I think so, or I wouldn’t be here right, maybe this is the year where God uses me and where I really strive to change, no more sitting around waiting for some miracle. It doesn’t happen that way, I need to put forth an effort, and I need to put my all into this relationship. I need to be open to anything and everything and I need to practice some serious self control. I need Jesus, now and forever. I have hope that someday I will be content with everything, I have hope that these troubles I face today will be small hurdles I once overcame. I will never lose hope...